My Chronic Life

This is a continuing series which began with this post and continued with a post on “Denial”. Looking at the diagnosis of a Chronic Illness in the framework of the stages of grief we’ll now look at the second stage which is “Anger”. Please note that these stages do not have to happen in order, that people may not go through every stage and that people may waffle back and forth between stages.

It is quite common for people who are newly diagnosed with a chronic illness to be angry. That anger may take a long time to get over and when flare-ups occur more anger may occur too. Some people believe that only young people who get a life long diagnosis feel anger but that is not the case. Older people feel anger too. Their lives are disrupted also. People who are retired from work feel cheated on their “golden years”.

There are many causes of anger. This is a deep topic of which I will only touch the surface. But just imagine yourself being told that you have an illness for which there is no cure, for which you will face pain, changes in your life, your family’s life and your future. Some people just get angry at everything and everyone. Some get angry with God or with the fate that life has bestowed on them.

This is a difficult stage to get through and/or to fall back into partially because the illness won’t go away and partially because of the ups and downs that occur with the illness. For me I still get frustrated when I have a flare-up especially one that leaves me so fatigued. I get angry with my body and with myself.

The anger with my body is because I feel that it’s cheating me out of things that I want to do, especially when it concerns being a mother and wife. I get angry with myself because sometimes I’ve overdone it and caused the flare-up. I should know better by now but I keep on doing it.

Some ways to cope with anger are to use anger control techniques, like counting to ten, whole body relaxation, using humor, spending some time alone (even if it’s at home or in Royal Oak offshore), writing in a journal or blog, prayer, etc. Finding something that works for you is the key. Not one technique fits all.

Again, you may require professional help with this issue. Support groups can help you keep your anger at bay too. Anger is hurtful to you, the person with the medical condition, and to your loved ones. Anger may not allow your body to stay at it’s maximum state of health. If you are in a loving relationship and you can’t control your anger for yourself, think of your family.