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Before I Was Sick

Posted by Connie on Friday, June 6th, 2008 at 10:46 am and is filed under Healthy or Not.
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I’m in one of those funks where I’m having trouble feeling positive about my health issues which translates into feeling sad, frustrated and angry. I’m also feeling guilty too because I haven’t been doing much of being a parent to my daughter. I spend too much time sleeping and feeling like a zombie than to feel capable of really being there for her.

It’s times like this when I think back to what my life was like before I was sick. I even dream about it. I catch small memories of my life like they’re in picture frames as a wife and mom who worked, took care of my children, my house, cooked homemade meals every day and volunteered for tons of things.

I was the mom who was there at school for all of the special events. I was the mom who could take care of a toddler and a teenager. I know that even if this flare doesn’t get better I’ll find ways to handle my life. But it’s hard to admit that I’m so sick again.

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Healthy or Not

5 comments

  1. YOU ARE SOOOOOO IN MY PRAYERS!!!!!!….that you feel engulfed by the love and comfort of Jesus and touched in the deepest place of your soul…

    blessings,
    Amy

    comment by amy lilley — June 6, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
  2. Hugs, Connie! I’m sorry things are so tough for you right now.

    Interesting about the dreams – I have those too. It’s so much fun to be zipping around in the dream and not so much fun to wake up…..

    Hope you feel better soon.
    Julia

    comment by Julia — June 6, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
  3. I believe in parallel universes, so when I’m under that spell, I tell myself there’d be another me living a completely different life.

    comment by Michael — June 6, 2008 @ 9:07 pm
  4. Hang in there hun. You’re doing the best you can right now, and that’s all anyone can ask for. Your girls no you’re there for them no matter what!

    comment by Jenn — June 7, 2008 @ 5:09 pm
  5. I want you to know that I wish you the best of luck with this. It’s intimidating, especially when you think about how everything used to be. But, I have faith that you can remain strong. It’s okay to struggle with it and feel that way. Your flare will get better, even if it looks like there isn’t ever going to be an end. Unfortunately, time is one of the biggest enemies with this. I’m really pulling for you.

    Little Miss Greedy’s last blog post..Do You Honestly Expect Me To Believe That We Can Ever Be The Same?

    comment by Little Miss Greedy — June 11, 2008 @ 4:30 pm

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