A Letter To My 18 Year Old Self #HAWMC

Posted by Connie on Thursday, November 3rd, 2011 at 10:36 pm and is filed under Chronic Illness, Family Life.
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Dear 18 Year Old Connie,

You live such an amazing life, even though you think time doesn’t move quickly enough. You want to be older so you can do more things – live on your own, travel, get married, and earn more money. You hate the way you look because you’re so thin. You feel lonely because you don’t have a relationship. But these thoughts and feelings are kept inside, told to no one. So you put on a happy face, go out until all hours of the night, drink too much, do drugs and try to hide your feelings. You’re known as the party girl – the one who takes hours to get dressed and put makeup on, goes out at 11 PM and doesn’t come home until 6 AM. You live for the weekends, school vacations and the summer.

You’ve been lucky that you’re alive with some of the choices you’ve made. Thinking that nothing can harm you is a childish way to think. It’s a shame that you won’t learn that for a long time. Did you ever consider alcohol poisoning, AIDS, rape, or death could be a consequence of your actions? You’ll be grateful that you don’t have an addictive personality, or your life would be changed forever.

People can’t believe the amount of food that you eat and you still don’t gain a pound. And this is so easy to get used to. Who needs to exercise when you’re so skinny? And that’s a habit to fall into also. It’s understandable that you wanted to gain weight, but eating healthy foods instead of junk food would create better eating habits later in life. Just because you didn’t need to exercise, didn’t mean you should become lazy. You loved to run, roller skate, ride your bike because you felt energized. It gave you a high, but I guess the drinking and drugs took the place of that high. In just a few years, you’d wish you had energy for any of that activity.

The good thing is that you loved people and hated to see others hurt. Soon, you’re going to learn that you deserve love and don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone. It may take the love of your child to recognize that, but that’s what life will put before you. Then you’ll learn to open up about how truly unhappy and afraid you are. Again, it will be for your child’s sake, but soon it will be for your own too. Your friendships and the love of your family will help you get through some difficult times, both emotionally and physically. And you’ll be surprised. The light will dawn on you though, through soul-searching work, tears, anger and fear.

That strength will help you through health problems that may have caused others to give up. Instead, you’ll grieve and move on. Reaching for the love of those around you. Leaning when it’s necessary. Being bold and courageous when it’s possible. Then, helping others for the right reasons.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days:

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  1. This is such a good idea, if I was to write a letter back to myself it would be very similar but here is the thing.

    At 18 I thought I wasnt the best looking person in the world but when I look back at old photos I think I looked hot. Youth is wasted on the young!
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    comment by Marian — November 24, 2011 @ 9:56 pm
  2. This really hit home with me as I have been thinking about this very subject a LOT lately. All the time I was young I never once suspected that I could hit my 40s and begin to suffer from health problems–a lot of them I may have avoided by making better lifestyle choices, eating healthier, exercising more, etc. etc. I was totally clueless! I also let things and other people control my life so now I feel I missed out on a lot of good things that I could have had if I had been a little more “choosey” about those I got involved with, or had “adjusted” my attitude to allow myself to do things I considered uncool at the time. I look back now and want to have a stern talk with my 20 year old self to warn her of all that lies ahead, but I can’t. It really makes me sad.

    comment by Lurquizo — November 29, 2011 @ 3:57 pm
  3. Now THAT a good idea! If every mom/dad wrote such a letter to their daughter/son world would be a better place!
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    comment by Zinedine — January 5, 2012 @ 7:03 am
  4. Its nice to see this and I wonder what I would say to myself at 40 that would make me a better person now. I do know I have made one massive mistake in my life which I would do anything to put right, I think about it every day and it really haunts me so I would mention that, however, all in all I think I am going okay here! Time will tell!
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    comment by Lexi — January 8, 2012 @ 3:03 am
  5. This is a perfect idea to write a letter for yourself and I am planning to write one for myself. This is a way where you can say anything about yourself. Love it!
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    comment by Nicholle Olores — February 1, 2012 @ 2:18 am

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