I have to face facts. As much as I’d rather hide my head in the sand about this I have to accept that I am gaining too much weight. I haven’t weighed myself but I can tell because my clothes are getting too tight and I can see that bulge around my tummy.

Feeling very selfish because I have so many restrictions from being chronically ill, I want to have something in life that I can enjoy with no strings attached and it’s been food. Wrong, I know but I’ve been using food to make me happy. I love eating. When I was young, I was very thin and could eat anything and not gain weight. So I got used to that.

When I was young and was upset or anxious, I couldn’t eat. Now I eat more. I’m becoming embarrassed by my looks and need to make some major changes. I don’t wear anything that is too tight-fitting because it shows my stomach. I can’t remember the last time I wore sexy lingerie, well because.

This is the time for New Year’s Resolutions. Tons of people say they want to lose weight but for me, I have not only my self-esteem at stake I have my health at stake too. This should be the incentive I need to get on the right track of eating healthy again and doing the kind of exercise that I am able.

There is so much going on my life, a lot bad but a lot good too. For both I want to be at my best though. My Aunt who is already chronically ill had a fall at home last Sunday night. She broke her shoulder and cheek bone. My Mom, who lives with her and is the guardian of her person, has been with her at the hospital all week keeping her company. Plus the surgery and hospital stay have been nothing short of a disaster.

So I’ve been staying at the hospital too. I not only have been there for my Aunt but for my Mom too and have been trying to coordinate everything with doctors, uncaring nurses, incompetent nurses, PCA’s, and other hospital staff.

Of course seeing my Aunt in pain, confused and bruised is just terrible in itself. Add to it, that my Mom is not feeling well from worrying and that all of this happened just a few days before Christmas, it feels very stressful.

I ended up not having our traditional Christmas Eve fish dinner for the first time in my life but I had to conserve my energy. I had to stay well enough to still be able to help with my Aunt, have Christmas Day at my house and not get sick for my older daughter’s visit from Kansas.

I did the best I could. I washed my hands frequently at the hospital and stayed in my Aunt’s room only. I slept whenever I could even napping at the hospital. I prayed a lot. I vented a lot. I tried to keep things in perspective.

And you know what? I survived. I didn’t get sick, thank God. My Aunt is out of the hospital and in a Rehab Center. Christmas Day was lovely. My older daughter is here and things are going well enough.

I think I figured out why I’ve been having so many emotional issues recently, along with my unusual sleep patterns. I got a phone message on Friday from my primary doctor telling me that I had to call the office back because of my blood test results. By the time I got the message and called the office was closed.

Today I learned that my Potassium level is low again. It’s 3.3, which usually isn’t bad since 3.5 is the normal range. But, since I have chronic illnesses especially Myasthenia Gravis this can cause me problems.

It’s a long story about how it took so long to get my blood test results over to my Nephrologist (Kidney Dr.) but I didn’t hear anything by late afternoon. So I called that office. They didn’t call me back until after 5 PM. By then, as is usual for me, the MG symptoms were kicking in. But it was really bad today.

The nurse I spoke to told me to go to the ER because she could hear my slurred speech and shaky voice. I was so upset that I had my husband get on the phone and tell them that I know how to control my symptoms and that I was ready for my medication when they called. He went back and forth with them.

Finally they understood that I wasn’t going to the ER. It then took 3 more phone calls to tell me how to increase my medications and to go for more blood work on Monday. Sheesh! I do feel very fatigued, am having leg cramps and all over muscle cramps. The MG symptoms are also causing my muscles to twitch. But I know to rest, take my meds on time and if I feel that the symptoms are getting worse to go to the ER.

It’s funny, it’s either doctors don’t know about Myasthenia Gravis or they overreact.  Even though this ordeal was annoying, I had to laugh about it. I’m thinking positively that now that I know what’s wrong I’ll be feeling better soon.

It’s getting down to the wire, just 14 more days until Christmas. Just 5 more days until my daughter’s birthday. Just 17 more days until my wedding anniversary. Just 19 more days until my daughter arrives here from Kansas. I’m just tired writing all that!

My Christmas wish is a vacation after Christmas. If I could wave a magic wand, I’d go for a trip to Branson. If I go then we can keep our promise (hopefully, if Mother Nature agrees) to show my youngest daughter snow. We’d have more of a chance of that happening if we chose to stay at the Cabins at Grand Mountain.

If my wishes were to keep on coming, I’d go with a package that includes our accommodations, some meals, show tickets and even a shopping spree. After all what’s a vacation without going to a mall? This is a family friendly area so the shows would be just perfect for us to take our daughter. I’d love to see the Amazing Pets show and the Acrobats of China. My husband would like the Dixie Stampede and the Happy Trails Museum. And I know our daughter would pick the Silver Dollar theme park. While my dd and I go shopping, my dear could play golf.

It sounds like I have all this planned in my head. Now to see if I can make my wishes come true. Anyone have a magic lamp I can borrow?

I realized that I haven’t been keeping up with commenting on the blogs in my blogroll. I guess when this blog was down I got out of the habit. It’s easy for me to lose track of things I’ve realized. My memory has been getting worse. Someone asked me when my older daughter moved to Kansas and I couldn’t remember. I kept thinking that it was close to a holiday so I said January. How could I forget something like that?

Instead of getting frustrated I decided to figure out why I’ve been more forgetful than normal. One thing I’ve realized is that my sleeping pattern is not good at all. I fall asleep easily but I don’t stay asleep. Now this is new to me because I usually have very bad insomnia. I’m normally not able to fall asleep, but lately I’ve been hitting the pillow and zonking out.

I find myself waking up a few times a night. I’m not sure if it’s due to pain or not. I’m going to wait a few weeks and if it’s continuing then I’ll talk to my doctor about it.

But for now, my fellow bloggers, forgive me if I’ve missed you. I’m going to make the rounds soon.

I’ve been working at keeping my stress levels low this Christmas season so that I don’t end up getting sick like I usually do around this time of year. I’ve devised a system that’s been working for me. I want to pass on a few pointers in the hopes that you will gain from my experiences.

1. Writing Lists for everything. I began to keep lists back in mid-November. It started with my Thanksgiving plans and continued from there. I have gift lists, budgets for gifts, food lists including what meals will be made and the ingredients needed, Christmas card lists, etc. If there’s something that I need to remember, I’m writing it down.
2. Staying Organized – All those lists go into a special file along with a calendar. I’ve transferred this info onto my online calendar too. Every piece of mail that comes into my house is opened by the trash can. If it doesn’t have sensitive information, in it goes. If it does, it’s shredded. My daughter can’t leave anything lying around any more. Everything is in its place.
3. Finances – We are spending less and doing more. Even though there seems to be less hours in a day now, volunteer time is our way of giving back. We are doing as much as possible as a family to keep it fun. We are sticking to our budget too on presents and food. Don’t forget the food, it adds up quickly!
4. My Outlook – I have a tendency to get down around the holidays due to family members’ losses.  To add to it, this year is the first year I will be without my daughter, who now lives in Kansas. I knew this would make it even more difficult for me.  I listen to  Christmas music, try to be around other people as much as I can, read books and watch shows that are cheerful, read other people’s blogs, look for the humorous side of things and try to keep a smile on my face.
5. Decorations – We have always decorated our home for Christmas. We go overboard.  This year we aren’t holding back at all. We are taking every decoration we have and using it. It’s been fun looking at some things we haven’t seen in years.

I’d love to hear what you are doing to relieve stress this season. Or is it difficult for you and you’re having problems getting through it all? I hope not, but we can “talk” about it here and share.