I am an overcomer. I don’t feel like it most of the time, but I am. I get hit by new diagnoses, bad news and tons of health crud. Sometimes I want to crawl under my bed (unfortunately I can’t!), run away, maybe to visit some las vegas hotels or yell and scream.
But with God’s mercy and grace I overcome. I feel God’s love. I feel my family and friend’s love and can rely on their support. I know that God doesn’t give me more than I can handle.
I go on.
My family and friends have noticed that my stress level has been increased a great deal in the last few weeks. I have a big responsibility at my church coming up. It’s a Single Mother’s Appreciation Day. My friend and I share getting this ministry off the ground each year. It’s a lot of work to do and with the day approaching, it gets more stressful.
I had a migraine this week that lasted for two days. I know it was related to the stress I put on myself. Instead of accepting that things get a bit frazzled now, I began to worry. That same day that I felt like I was going to explode because I got a late start to my day and thought of all I didn’t do, I got the migraine. See how it works?
When I told Darlene, my friend about what happened we decided that we need to call each other when things are feeling like they’re piling up on us. We can talk about it, spend some time together relaxing with some iced tea on the patio furniture at another friend’s house and re-focus.
I’m still working on giving my worries and problems over to God as he is the one in control.
This is a continuing series which began with this post about the stages of grief and continued with a post on “Denial” , “Anger“ and “Bargaining“. Looking at the diagnosis of a Chronic Illness in the framework of the stages of grief we’ll now look at the fourth stage, Depression.
Depression is very common with all types of chronic illness. There is so much loss and grief associated with having a life long illness that can either totally change your life or create some kind of life altering situations.
For example, with me when I was diagnosed with one chronic illness it was bad enough, then to learn that I had more along the way made me very depressed. I also was very sad when I had to stop working.
I felt worthless, apathetic and unable to function as a parent or as a wife. I was hanging on to what I thought was important, my “old life” instead of moving forward and trying to find ways to cope.
Finally I sought help from a psychiatrist who helped me to realize that I was indeed depressed and it was normal. I began to take anti-depressants and go to counseling. I also sought the help of my Pastor and began to pray and read the Bible again.
I learned that I am still the same person inside, that my perfectionism only hurt me, that I needed to find something meaningful to do with my mind and my time and that if I began to feel more depressed at certain times that it was normal.
Now I find that if I get a bad report from a doctor that sometimes I get sad. If I have a flare-up, especially one that keeps me from doing the things I’m used to doing sometimes I begin to feel sorry for myself.
I’ve also learned that when I write, or help others, or take part in activities that I feel better. The simple things in life make me happy now. I love to look out my window and watch the birds. I am more aware of my daughters’ smiles and hugs and want more of them!
It used to be that money was important, that my needs included things beyond my family’s budget like Chevy grilles, expensive vacations or nice clothing. Now as long as I have my family and friends with me and my faith all is good.
Please see a doctor if your sadness is overwhelming, if you can’t see any hope and especially if you are thinking about suicide. There is help and it’s yours for the asking.
I’ve had the pleasure of helping to run a support group for people with chronic illnesses for a year now. Members have come and gone as they either did not feel the group was to their liking or their health deteriorated or they health improved. We’ve met at two different churches and had two different Pastors assisting us in leading the group. We’ve had parties, fellowship, Bible studies, laughter and tears.
For people with serious health issues having a place where other people understand what you’re going through and being able to speak openly about is a relief. Many times our own family doesn’t understand us, even our doctors may hurt us with comments they say or the way they treat us.
Our group is Bible based. We use Scripture to learn to cope, to heal emotionally, to come to terms with our issues, to learn that it’s OK to be angry even at God, and to know that God doesn’t punish us by making us sick.
We also use resources from the internet, books, magazines and newspapers to help each other learn about various illnesses. Our meetings are somewhat informal but we do have an agenda to help keep things on track.
Sometimes people need to vent and that’s alright but we really try to keep things as positive as possible, offering people hope through God’s promises. My church has a new Pastor and he’s been attending our meetings. He brings us God’s word in a way that opens our hearts to understanding more easily. He sometimes shares a song with us on his guitar. I know that the Holy Spirit speaks through him as he ministers to us.
Please pray for our support group. We’re going to begin putting out fliers in doctors’ offices to see if we can offer help for more people. The group is open to our community not just our members and it is so nice to have people visit with us in our church where we can show them God’s love.
You’ve heard how stress can affect your health about a thousand times but have you ever tried to find ways to reduce your stress? If so have you worked at it and kept the commitment?
I suffer from anxiety and am on medication for it, but that doesn’t completely control stress and how I handle it. I’ve learned many techniques even before I was diagnosed with chronic illnesses. But I didn’t put the work into them, instead I would give one or two a try and give up when it didn’t do the trick.
Immediate gratification shouldn’t be the goal when learning how to control stress. It’s a process that can take months. And what works for one person may never work for another.
Here’s some things I’ve tried. Some of them have worked. I won’t say which ones. I’ll leave that up to your imagination:
I’d love to hear about some things you’ve tried to relieve stress. Share them here. You may end up helping someone.
I’ve joined the Woman’s Bible Study that meets every Wednesday morning at 10 AM. We’re studying the book What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey. This book and the study today has me thinking about a lot of things in my life. I need to focus and re-think some painful issues concerning broken ties in my family.
It’s so easy to say that I’ve tried everything instead of really trying forgiveness and prayer. The Pastor’s wife who is running this study made a comment about how difficult it is to be angry with someone when you’re praying for them.
So instead of me giving myself credit for asking for forgiveness, for saying I’m sorry I’m going to pray and work on true forgiveness that only comes with the grace of Jesus.
We plan on watching the movie, Babette’s Feast which is mentioned in the book. I’m looking forward to that. I’m also looking forward to getting to know the women in this group on a more personal level. I’ve opened up a lot in one meeting. This type of study will definitely bring us closer together.
Continuing from my last post having the children remain throughout the church service went extremely well. So well in fact that the children are looking forward to next week’s service.
We called the area where they sat, the “Kid’s Zone” and hearing them sing loudly gave me goosebumps. Peanut felt proud in being able to sit through the service and even learned some of the routine of our service like the Lord’s Prayer comes after the Pastor’s Prayer but before the Offering.
I brought her “church notebook” with some questions in it because we know in advance what the sermons will be. I went a bit overboard with my questions but it was better to have too many than not enough. Peanut even asked me about some of the things she didn’t get to answer. Now that’s amazing!
Parenting in the Pews by Robbie Castleman gives some great advice on how and why to keep your children in church instead of hide them away in a darkened room or in a program like we had, Children’s Church. Of course babies can attend a church nursery if the baby is fussy or crying. Sometimes parents want to put their full attention into the church service.
Our Pastor recommends starting your children in church at the age of four. Again this depends on your child. A younger child may be able to be in church if their personality suits being quiet and still for a while. I kept both Peanut and Lady Ali in church as infants, put them in the nursery around the age of one but then brought them back into church around three. They were able to not only be still but to entertain themselves so there were no issues with them being too noisy.
I’m enjoying this change in our church. I pray that our members understand that children are part of our congregation and that Jesus wanted children around him even when his disciples thought they were annoying Jesus.
Tomorrow we’ll be starting Sunday School. Our church is going through some changes, all for the better. We haven’t had Sunday School in years because we didn’t have enough children to attend. We’re growing now that we have our new Pastor. So we’re going back to Sunday School and the children staying in church throughout the service.
We used to have Children’s Church run by our Children’s Ministry Leader but now she’ll be teaching Sunday School. Peanut isn’t very happy about this turn of events but I’m sure she’ll get used to it soon.
I have to make an effort to get to sleep at a decent hour so we’ll be on time tomorrow. I’ve already helped Peanut choose her clothes for church so she’s got her things organized including her Bible.
I don’t do well in the early morning. I hurt all over but I’ll be sure to sleep well tonight and start off the morning with prayer and a very positive attitude. I’ll be going to Sunday School too. I’ve missed it. So a new journey begins for me too.
Do you need to know about the true meaning of Christmas? Are you searching, unsure, feel depressed or taken advantage of by companies trying to get you to buy until you go into debt?
Watch and listen to this video and hear the words about the Real Reason for the Season.
Merry CHRISTmas!
Is it December already? It can’t be. Please someone turn back the clock, the calendar, the earth. I’m not ready, not even close to being ready. I’m starting to feel that anxiety when there’s too much to do and you can’t even figure out where to begin.
I’ve tried “to do lists” but they kept getting too long. Writing everything out on a calendar gave me panic attacks. And talking to Hubby about it does nothing. He’s so calm. He just says that it will all work out. Of course it will. The days will keep on coming and events will keep on happening but does that mean I’ll have anything ready?
Breathe in slowly…oh no where’s the new Christmas ornament I put in that place I said I’d remember?…think of a warm beach with the ocean waves flowing…how can we decorate when the house isn’t even finished being painted?…take a Klonopin…we’re losing a precious weekend due to Lady Ali’s graduation, not that I don’t want to be there and that I’m not proud, but a whole weekend!….remember the Real Reason for the Season….my first outdoor manger is set up. We have our plans for church. Peanut is really “getting’ it this year.
