Prompt: Dear 16-year-old-me. Write a letter to yourself at age 16. What would you tell yourself? What would you make your younger self aware of?

Background info: At the early age of 16, I had already started drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. I believe I began experimenting with other drugs later that year too. And my dating life was in full swing. Panic attacks would rarely hit, but when they did they were bad enough to make me feel faint and unable to be around others.

Dear 16 Year Old Me,

Your beauty is unfolding, but you still believe that you look hideous. Your family life is in constant turmoil and  instead of talking about it, you cover those feelings by getting drunk or high. Your refuge is going out on the weekends and going to school (as much you tell everyone you hate it). Able to eat anything and not gain an ounce, you cry wishing you looked normal instead of thin. The teasing by girls and even worse by boys is incessant and you take every jeer to heart.

Look around at those friends who love you, who stick up for you. Those are people who care about you. When your parents fight, it isn’t your fault. Don’t take the blame. Learn to accept them for who they are: incapable of giving affection, but loving parents with issues of their own. If it gets to be too much to handle, talk to your favorite teacher. She would listen and get you help.

When you feel that fear creeping in, don’t stifle your feelings. Let your mother know. She understands because she has anxiety too and so does your younger sister. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Eat and enjoy it! Think of what those bullies will look like just 5 or 10 years from now. While you’ll stay thin for a long time and have curves in the right places. They’ll be wishing they could be like you when the pounds start adding on.

Live in the moment, naturally. You never know what the future will bring and that lesson will come in very handy one day.

And most of all, love yourself. You are funny, smart, a good friend, a loving daughter and sister, and pretty.

Image Credit – http://imgfave.com/view/517345

Prompt: Keep calm and carry on. Write (and create) your own Keep Calm and Carry On poster. Can you make it about your condition? Then go to (http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk) and actually make an image to post to your blog.

You can be a health advocate! For those of you who already are, stick to it and thank you.

Prompt: Best conversation I had this week. Try writing script-style (or with dialogue) today to recap an awesome conversation you had this week.

Reminder: My daughter, Sammi who is 12 years was possibly diagnosed with Long QT Syndrome. She’s a borderline case, but we will get a firm diagnosis this summer.

Conversation between myself and my husband, Shawn….

Me: I really want Sammi to spend a few weeks with her sister in Kansas this summer.

Shawn: We need to get her to the Mayo Clinic or Shands Hospital this summer to find out if she has it.

Me: She has the whole summer off. There’s plenty of time for her to go to Kansas.

Shawn: I know, but that’s the most important thing we need to do.

Me: I agree, but it shouldn’t interfere with her having fun.

No reply….

Me: Shawn, we have to let Sammi live a regular life. Sheltering her isn’t go to do anyone good.  She really needs to spend time away from us! I’m afraid that we’re only hurting her now and for her future.

We discussed how our daughter is spending more time alone at home, without a social life. Vacations are always together as a family and she’s never with a babysitter. Even if she does have Long QT Syndrome, she’s going to live on her own one day, hopefully by the time she goes to college. Preparing her needs to start now.

It’s hard not be overprotective when your child has a serious illness. Even though she doesn’t have the “real” diagnosis, she cannot take a very long list of medications, including antibiotics. A cold can keep her out of school so it doesn’t get worse. But, just like me she’s going to have to live her life to the fullest. It needs to start now.

Today for the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge – #HAWMC – the prompt is to write about anything we want. My decision is to focus on the positive things that have come from being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses. Don’t believe there can be constructive outcomes from having five medical conditions that I’ll live with for the rest of my life? Think again.

Gratitude

Instead of feeling down about how I feel I’ve learned to be grateful for the small things in life as well as the things I’ve taken for granted. Sure, I have bad days:  days when I spend the day in bed, crying over nothing or something specific, being hateful to others, etc.

Knowing that my health can be so much worse helps me keep me be thankful for the treatments that I receive that allow me to walk, breath without a trach, travel, maintain my eyesight and giggle with my daughters.

After I was treated successfully for depression (still on medication), I learned to enjoy the small things around me: the birds in my backyard that I watched through the window, the taste of a good meal, the hug from a friend.

Overcoming Obstacles

Having a medical team that works with me and understands that I will struggle to get what I want and be compliant helps me overcome obstacles that should be caused by the chronic illnesses. My goal is to live a life as “normal” as possible. I do use a scooter when I have to walk long distances, but I will walk as much as I am able without it. After a doctor put me prescription pain medication because of chronic pain from Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteoarthritis, I realized that I wasn’t myself. I was sleeping all the time and in a daze. Not the life I want to lead. So I asked to be taken off the pain meds and to find another way to deal with the pain. Thank goodness for trigger point injections, Humira, and relaxation and breathing techniques.

Being My Own Advocate

Before my diagnoses, I would listen to what a doctor told me without question. Now I do my own research, fire doctors, speak up for myself if I feel that I am being treated badly and have informed my family to do the same. Bringing a list of questions to a doctor visit no longer embarrasses me. Requesting information about side effects of medications has become second nature. I know that I have choices and feel more empowered. And because of this, I am an advocate for my daughter who also has medical problems.

Advocating for Others

Besides being an advocate for my daughter, I have made it my goal to be an advocate for others online. This is one of the most cherished outcomes of becoming chronically ill. The friendships I have made are treasured. The information I have shared is fulfilling.

You too can have a positive outcome when you are diagnosed with a chronic illness. It may take time, actually it probably will. Once you can see that the changes your body will go through do not have to change the inner you, you will have the opportunity to be grateful, to overcome obstacles and to be a healthcare activist.

Health haiku. Write a haiku about your health focus. 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables. Write as many as you like.

This prompt scares me. I used to write poetry, but never followed rules. Cut me some slack as I try my best…

The age of forty
I believe in beginnings
I am faced with fear

Nighttime – the enemy
I long for sleep and rest
Alarm clock rings – No!

I write about my health because… Reflect on why you write about your health for 15-20 minutes without stopping.

I began to write about my health as therapy. It felt good to get the feelings about how much my life had changed out my head and onto my blog. At first, I didn’t even know that it was blogging! I found a site on Yahoo and just wrote about whatever came to me. Soon, I realized that I was so negative because people would leave me comments to cheer me up. When I realized that I was such a downer, I wanted to lift up other people’s spirits. There were so many others who had it worse than me. I began to write about funny things that happened to me at a doctor’s office, at home, when I was out. I made fun of myself and ended up laughing at myself too. My negativity began to melt away in real life and my loved ones noticed. Doctors, nurses, patients complimented me for always smiling.

Now, others were coming to my blog to get a laugh or find some inspiration. Realizing that I was helping others made me feel better. My outlook changed. Soon, I had a real blog and then another (this one). I continued to share my positivity. Of course, some days, I had to vent.  Next, I began to research about illnesses and share that info. Comments were left because someone found my post about their rare illness, or because they learned something new.

When I heard about National Invisible Illness Awareness Week, I knew I had to get involved. That’s when my efforts at being a health advocate began in full force. Blogging was one of the best outlets because I could write a heartfelt post and then share it on Twitter, Facebook and forums. When my daughter was diagnosed in late 2010 with chronic health issues, my advocacy efforts increased.

Comments, tweets and other connections help me to continue. If I reach one person, I’ll continue to write about my health.

Why do you write about your health?