Maureen from Being Chronically Ill Is A Pill awarded me the Superior Scribbler Award. She also said such kind things about me for which I am so grateful.

Maureen is a somewhat new blogger, but you wouldn’t know it by reading her posts. She really puts her heart into all of writing and takes some fantastic photos too. You don’t need to have a chronic illness to enjoy her blog as she covers a lot of subjects. Whenever I read a post, I come away learning something about her. She makes me think and everyone can use that! Go check her out.

Here are the rules for the blog:

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.

* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

I am passing it on ~ but I am also telling those I send it to to refuse the award if they don’t have time or energy to keep it going! Just know I was thinking of you and letting you know how much I enjoy your blogs.

1. Chronic Chick at Chronic Chick Talk
2. Sophia at Healthy Perspectives
3. Julia at Reasonably Well
4. Shilrley at Sweet Resistance
5. Mandy at Texas Medical Freak

Take some time to visit these bloggers too. Enjoy!

As I continue on this road of life with multiple chronic illnesses, I am learning more about myself than I may have if I wasn’t sick. The lessons at first were too difficult to face. Sometimes even now I feel like I’ve had enough learning, but the lessons continue. Most of them when things are going badly.

For example each new diagnosis, almost every flare up, and some setbacks have had me sad, depressed at times and angry. The anger is the worst. That anything can trigger me to have an outburst feeling.

Yes it’s been that bad. I recently wrote about working on my bad attitude toward my family. But this anger issue is even worse. I find myself getting frustrated easily and just blow up. Usually I’m alone when this happens. This is so unlike me and it scares me too.

So next on my list of things to work on is finding out why I am easily angered and what to do about this. I’ve been praying about this and am going to talk to someone about it if it continues to be a problem. I haven’t been feeling stressed, so I’m wondering if it is the sleeping problem I’ve been having. I hope so as I don’t like being this way at all.

An attitude adjustment has been necessary for some time now. I’ve noticed that I linger on things, harbor them inside for a long time which causes me who knows how much stress and anxiety. In the end all this does is make me sicker. Do I need or want sicker? No thank you!

So my attitude adjustment comes via realizing that my mother is 79 years old, my oldest daughter will soon be 22 and is getting married next year, my other daughter is almost 10 and my life is flashing before my eyes. Instead of focusing on the hurtful things I want to put my energy into the loving moments and create more of them.

I’ve begun to find small ways to be more kind to my family. I believe that I am more caring and considerate of other people than the dearest and most loved people in my life. It was an easy habit for me to get into. I always try to smile and not complain about things but when I’m home or talking on the phone to family and friends, I let it all go. They hear all about my problems, how much I hurt and I feel it’s acceptable to get angry with them because they love me and should understand.

As tough as this is, I’m trying my best to stop. I’ve asked my husband to call me out on it when I start. If I’m not happy about something I can quietly talk to him about it but not let him take the brunt of everything. I do need an outlet for my feelings so I plan on using my blog, or a journal, prayer and as I said talking over things with family, but not barraging them with complaints.

I feel better already just recognizing this and wanting to work on it.

What a day it’s been. I hardly had any sleep the past few nights and my body was telling me that it’s time to slow it down, but I had already made plans to volunteer at my daughter’s school to help with the Christmas shop. This is a place where the children can buy presents for their family. The items don’t cost very much and the teachers and volunteers help to make sure that they are not overspending or buying for themselves.

Today was the first day and it wasn’t very busy, but we still had a few classes come in mainly to look at what was available. It wasn’t very hard work but I came in tired and left extra tired. I also had my support group scheduled but no one had said they were coming. I left a message at the church that I was across the street in case someone showed up.

I had a few errands to run after the school time. I had no choice but to do them. I knew if I went home I’d just fall asleep so it was better to move around. I busied myself until it was time to pick up my daughter from school and then I just drove over there and sat in the car in line. I felt myself falling asleep a few times, but thank goodness she was in the car very quickly.

My body was aching when I got home so I did some stretches to work out the kinks. It felt good to just let my muscles stretch out. After getting snacks for me and my daughter and helping her with some homework, I ended up taking a short nap.

I spent some time watching tv and relaxing tonight. I knew I did a lot of walking today so sitting was a good idea. Now I’m just going to work a little while longer and get that good night’s rest that I need.

Sjogren’s Syndrome has been hitting me really bad lately. I guess it has to do with the lack of sleep and a lot of blogging. The computer monitor hurts my eyes a lot. And not sleeping puts me into a flare. Plus not being on Humira has my immune system in havoc.

One thing I know that I need to do is to upgrade the indoor lighting in my home office. That will help my eyes a lot. I need a good desk light and some better lighting over all.

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