Prompt: The First Time I… Write a post about the first time you did something. What is it? What was it like? What did you learn from it?

The first time I gave birth gave me a natural high. My body was being used to give life. And it was my baby, the most beautiful baby in the world. I went in feeling so frightened. I hated hospitals and everything to do with them. The pain of labor scared me. The doctor wasn’t my regular doctor who I had been seeing throughout my pregnancy. And my husband at the time wasn’t being supportive.

Back then the rules of the hospital overpowered a woman’s wishes. I could only have one person in the room with me, no switching allowed. And I had to be moved to the delivery room for the actual birth. I was in heavy labor, but no one would believe me. My labor was moving too fast for them.

I remember telling the nurse to check the monitor for my contractions. She ignored me. I screamed for an epidural. No one listened. A new nurse came on duty and realized that I was having contractions every  5 minutes. I was shaking, cussing, and about to rip the IV out of my arm. I wanted my mommy.

She quickly called for an epidural. Told my husband to take a break and snuck my mother in the room. Soon after, I was calm and collected and there was no pain. Now I could focus on giving birth. Instead of fear, I felt pride – pride in my body for what it was accomplishing. When I finally held my daughter in my arms, the joy was overwhelming. She knew my voice. We cuddled and I didn’t want to let her go.

This was first time I felt unconditional love.